I am kind of wishing that I might have done my loving kindness exercise after my integral assessment. I find that my mind is filled with things that I need to change, and things that are difficult for me to realize. This week I have caught my sons cold and have been feeling under the weather, which has lead me to put off homework and makes me quite anxious. I feel satisfied with how I approach my life to a point. I do not take enough time for personal relaxation and reflection to work on development. I am starting to wonder if not taking this time is affecting my family. My son is growing up and needs to have more independent time to himself and his friends. My husband and I have been learning this and providing this for him, but to a point. He has been struggle greatly with school, but feels more pressure when he is getting assistance from me. I need to reevaluate how I help him. I have been allowing my way of doing homework and studies are the way I teach him….and personally it isn’t working. Instead of insisting what he has to do, I need to be more aware of his needs for improving his life. I guess I was always afraid that he didn’t care, but after deep assessment, I am realizing that he has cared the whole time; I was too closed off to notice. My frustration with his school work issues has caused me to be more ridged and present less love and kindness. And what child doesn’t need love and kindness…all of them do!! I have known this forever, and I am the one that has been failing at providing motivation for him through love and kindness. As for many of you..this week’s assessments and love-kindness practice has left us a little disturbed with our evaluations. But I really do believe that through the love-kindness exercise, we can focus on those parts of our life that are struggling or need change and approach them with love. We can accept the past and move forward to a better future, because all of us had the guts to face our life and focus our minds on the changes that needed to be made!
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